Community Panic Holds

"The last time there was FUD, the token I was holding went down 90% in 4 minutes."

How To Not Sound Unemployed: A Crypto Investor's Guide

Step 1: Don't ever mention cryptocurrency.

SafeMoon Accused of Copying SnailMoon's Branding

SnailMoon has never even heard of SafeMoon according to the team.

Local Man Holds Shitcoin Until Heat Death Of The Universe

Dust to dust.

Top 10 Ways To Soft FUD Your Investments In Telegram Chat

The moron's masterclass in staying poor - beginners welcome.

Crypto Project Builds Bridge

The SnailMoon team will be paying outright for the development of the bridge, with costs expected to amount to around $12.

Crypto Investor Confused By Green Number In His Portfolio

Friends of the investor have been forced to explain what the green numbers and plus sign meant.

Investors Shocked To Discover "Inu" Means Dog In Japanese

This revelation has caused confusion as many investors had assumed that "inu" was simply a random string of letters that sounded cool.

Richard Heart Wins Farmer Of The Year Award

Heart beat out fierce competition from the likes of Azuki, Yuga Labs, and whoever keeps launching all those shitcoin farms.

Tesla Adds 2nd Display For Shitcoin Trading

"My Tesla was able to automatically change my destination to the bank so I could declare bankruptcy."

Lizard People Association Distances Itself From Zuckerberg After Twitter Lawsuit

“Hoarding personal data and influencing elections is fine, but stealing IP is something we cannot condone."

Crypto Whale Group Wiped Out By Japanese Fishing Vessel

Since the incident, rug pulls and pump & dumps have dropped a staggering 1%.